being coincise

Your Daily Conciseness #9

Not concise:

Our company has been achieving acceptable growth rates, but the business environment in which we’re immersed may represent some obstacles. Customers are becoming increasingly demanding when it comes to service.

Concise:

Our company has been achieving acceptable growth rates, but customers are increasingly demanding when it comes to service.

Comment:

In this context, the phrase “the business environment in which we’re immersed may represent some obstacles” is just a more general and therefore less memorable way of saying what comes next: “Customers are becoming increasingly demanding when it comes to service.” Remove generalities and get to the point.

Notice that I also changed “are becoming increasingly demanding” to “are increasingly demanding.” The latter expresses the same meaning using fewer words.

Your Daily Conciseness #8

Not concise:

These are situations in which there is not very much social interaction.

Concise:

These situations lack social interaction.

Comment:

The key to writing concisely is often using a verb with a sharp and clear meaning to replace a longer way of expressing the same thing.

Your Daily Conciseness #1

Write concisely means eliminating unnecessary words. Concise writing is sharp and elegant and provides a great reading experience.

I’m going to share one wordy sentence with you (almost) every day and show how it can be made more concise. Every time you enjoy Your Daily Conciseness, you’re one step closer to mastering clean academic writing with no unnecessary words.

And, it’s fun! (Really, I mean it!)

Here’s Your Daily Conciseness #1:

Not concise:

Smith draws the conclusion that global warming is a threat to 125,000 species of insects.

Concise:

Smith concludes that global warming threatens 125,000 insect species.

See the difference? I removed six words while preserving the meaning perfectly.